Laughter is the best medicine... or so the saying goes. Or "a day without a laugh is a day wasted" (Picasso). Anyway, enjoy our selection of jokes and funny stories. If you have a humorous story - not necessarily about doctors - dentists, lawyers, architects or even (we know we're going to regret this...) accountants, click here and e-mail it to us. If it makes us chuckle, we'll include it in the website. Here goes...

Canine Complex
A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Vermouth, and sat down to explain his problem.
"Well, you see, I've got this problem," the man continued. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenean mountain dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"
"A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Come over here and lie down on the couch."
"Oh no, Doctor. I'm not allowed up on the furniture."

Confusion
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?"
He got this reply...
"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter. My daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson. But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"

It Must Be The Drinking
A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches.
"I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?"
The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking."
"Fair enough," replied the lush. "I'll come back when you sober up."

Smelling and Hearing
An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, it's terrible, I pass wind all the time. Fortunately, it's odourless and silent, otherwise I'd be mortified. For example, I've passed wind ten times just since we've been talking, but it's odourless and silent so you can't tell."
The doctor gives her some green pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week.
The woman comes back after taking the pills for a week. She says, "Doc, there's been a change but not for the better. I still pass wind all the time, but while it's still silent, now it smells terrible!"
The doctor says, "Well, I'm glad we cleared up your sinus blockage,now we'll have to work on your hearing."

A man with a banana stuck in his ear and a green bean stuffed up each nostril walks into the doctor's office. The doctor looks at him and asks what he can do for him.
"Doctor, I just haven't been feeling well lately."
"Well, I can see you are not eating properly."

A man goes to the doctor and says: "It hurts when I press here" (pressing his side) "And when I press here" (pressing the other side) "And here" (his leg) "And here, here and here" (his other leg, and both arms). So the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong. He exclaimed, "You've got a broken finger!"